Haunted
by naturallyclutzy93
Summary: what if the queen didnt die? set before last sacrifice. how will Rose cope with Dimitri's rejection? will she stay with Adrian or will Adrian shun her to? and our romatic couple will they rejoin or will they forever be seperated? read to find out
1. Chapter 1

**hey guys.. i know when i updated you thought it would be glares of an angel but like i said before its up in my attic and i cant find it right now.. but i did get inspiration for a new story.. hope you like it :)**

**oh and i dont own any of these characters **

**Haunted**

**Rose/Dimitri**

"love fades. mine has"

You know what hurts worse then facing the thought of having to kill the love of your life? The love of your life saying he didn't love you anymore after you've saved his life. Even better is when he turns to your best friend and worships HER for saving his life. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm EXTREMELY understanding... who am i kidding? I'm the opposite of understanding, which is why i started crap with Dimitri in the middle of the food court... even i have to admit I'm impulsive.

Still, I think I deserve a little credit for saving the guys life! If it wasn't for me Lissa wouldn't have been able to perform her magic on him..I can't with good concience say that i was happy he was back, because he wasn't back to normal.. normal would be MY Dimitri, and my Dimitri loved me and wasn't afraid to admit it. On top of all this, Adrian's in the mix... how could I possible tell him that he would always be second in my heart? i couldn't. That was the problem. I was stuck in a relationship that I didnt want to be in because i didn't want to hurt his feelings...

Of course that was before Dimitri told me he didn't love me anymore. Now? i was moving on, or trying to, by throwing myself in my relationship with Adrian. But yet again that was before my little go around with dimitri in the food court... wait! didnt i already tell you this? oh well.. now here i am in my room reliving how Dimitri came back to life then how he just tossed me aside. Things were all in a mess, i was mad at Lissa, pining over Dimitri, pretendingt to love Adrian the way he wanted me to, and me? I, of course, was torn between three people... AGAIN!

I got up from my bed and made my way into my training clothes, what kind of guardian would i be if i neglected my training just because i had problems? i sighed

' they come first' i thought and started towards the gym

XXX

i sighed with relief when i made it down to the gym without running into anyone. Normally i was up for anything, andyone, but today i was likely to kill someone... best to avoid all life.

I pulled out my Ipod, flipped to one of my favorite songs.. and just as my feet hit the track, "haunted" by taylor swift played **(to get more into the story you might want to actually listen to this song)** i smiled bitterly... how accurate

_"you and i walk a fragile line _

_i have known it all time _

_but i never thought i'd see it break"_

my bitter smile turned into a frown at those words.. and my speed picked up.

_"It's getting dark and it's all too quiet_

_and i can't trust anything now_

_and it's coming over you like its all a _

_big mistake"_

A sob escaped my mouth and i realized i was crying

_"oh holding my breath _

_won't lose you again _

_somethings made your eyes go cold"_

I can't do this... i can't lose him

_"come on, come on, don't leave me like this_

_i thought i had you figured out_

_somethings gone terribly wrong you're all i wanted"_

Until he said he didnt love me anymore.. still loving him hurt

_"come on, come on, don't leave me like this _

_i thought i had you figured out_

_can't breathe whenever your gone _

_can't turn back now, I'm Haunted"_

I was haunted by his kissed, the look in his eyes, his talent for lifting only one eyebrom, haunted by him

_"stood there and watched you walk away from_

_everything we had_

_but i still mean every word i said to you"_

I will always mean what i say to him.. my speed picked up more

_" he will try to take away my pain_

_and he just might make me smile_

_but the whole time i'm wishing_

_he was you instead"_

"Dimitri" i felt myself whisper

_"oh holding my breath _

_won't see you again_

_something keeps me holding on to nothing"_

Yeah the feeling, or hope that he's lying, and the despair to know that it was all over

_"come on, come on, don't leave me like this _

_i thought i had you figured out _

_something's gone terribly wrong _

_you're all i wanted"_

I still wanted him, still needed him

_"come on, come on, don't leave me like this _

_i thought i had you figured out _

_can't breathe whenever you're gone _

_can't turn back now, I'm Haunted"_

So what do i do from here? I was running so fast, but i couldn't feel it

_" I know, I know_

_I just know_

_you're not gone_

_you can't be gone_

_no"_

but he is, and I don't know if i can bring him back to me

_" come on, come on, don't leave me like this _

_i thought i had you figured out _

_somethings gone terribly wrong_

_won't finish what you started"_

Won't finish me. i could tell i was running faster than ever, because i was running away from the pain

_"come on, come on. don't leave me like this _

_i thought i had you figured out_

_can't breathe whever you'r gone_

_can't turn back now, I'm haunted"_

I can never turn back, I never could. from the moment i met him... i smiled a little at the memory

_"you and i walk a fragile line _

_i have known it all this time _

_but I never thought I'd see it break_

_never thought I'd see it"_

Tears were pouring down my face, and i stopped running, fell to my knees in sobs. My live, My Dimitri, they're the same. without my Dimitri, i have no life, my life will always be him.. always

I looked up and saw a man standing in front of me, his face twisted into the most heartwrenching look, pain filled his ever feature.

"Adrian" i whispered


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello fans :) i have miss yall. well i didnt get the feedback i was hoping for but i do hope that will increase. thank you for the people who did read my story and and alerted it it makes me happy that someone other than me enjoys my stories :) now enough of my jabbering ON TO THE STORY ! **

**Haunted **

**Rose/Dimitri**

**Chapter 2**

"Adrian" i whispered

I was absolutly certain that he had seen everything, most likely heard everything, and was probably pissed. This along with the food court incident, i was seriously surprised he hadn't already chewed me out. Then again i had been hiding in my room avoiding anything and everything.

He smiled weakly " little dhampir"

I could feel i was trmbling as i tried to pull myself together. out of all the things Dimitri taught me, i had perfected my guardian mask the least.

Adrian came closer and helped me up from the ground, then pulled me in a hug" no need to cry im here now, your wish has come true" he joked half heartedly.

I cried harder. How could i tell this wonderful guy the hard truth? after all he's done for me, he would still do more. He would give me the world if it would make me happy, but worst of all if what i wanted hurt him.. he would still give it to me.

"Adrian... I'm sorry" I looked at him through tear filled eyes

"little dhampir, i haven't the slightest idea what you're going through, but i do know it's about him"

I looked back down at the ground. i prepared myself for the worst, i mean what guy in their right mind would hang around or even be remotely nice to a girl in love with someone else?

"but" he said lifting my hear up to look at him "i also know that i don't care. You could be crying over your dead cat or something for all i care." he gave me the most dazzeling smile " the only thing that matters to me right now is that you're here, with me, not him. If he doesn't realize you're the best thing that is ever going to happen to him, then he doesn't deserve you. Meanwhile i have always know you were the best and the most beautiful that is the most obvious thing in the world" he smiled again

I sniffed and smiled. He truly was amazing and probably better for me than Dimitri. Adrian never said he didn't have feelings for me, never even said he had to keep our relationship quiet. In fact it had always been the opposite with Adrian. He always was honest with me, wanted to date me, quit smoking and drinking. He even helped me save Dimitri, even though i was dating him, and he knew my feelings for Dimitri. I remeber even the proposal he gave me of why i should date him.

What did Dimitri do? from the very beginning he hid his feelings , hurt me once by saying he didn't feel the same about me. I mentally shuddered remembering the charm Victor Dashkov put on us. After that he almost left me for Tasha, told me he loved me, turned strigoi and left me agian. Though i couldn't hold that against him, but what he was doing now i could.

Over all Adrian was the safer choice. Unfortunatly i never went for safe. I looked at Adrian. He was very handsome with brown hair and green eyes, not to mention his very sexy body, but as i stood there looking at him i couldn't make myself love him like he wanted. he was perfect! It was all so confusing.

"what are you thinking?"

"hmm?" i snapped out of my shameful thoughts

"nevermind" he laughed " your mind is dangerous territory. I'm not sure i want to know"

"it's nothing" i said " i was just upset is all. Me and Lissa are fighting, she is being so stubborn"

He looked at me doubtfully "is that all?"

I didnt want to hurt him. He was incredible and sweet and perfect so i told him what he needed to hear " of course" i said scornfully " Me and Lissa are very close and she is being too stubborn and not taking my obviously good advice" i hoped i had lied as smoothly as i thought i did

He knew, of course, that it was a lie, but he looked so desperate to believe it " its gonna be okay, you guys always work it out no matter what it is.. it's sometimes annoying, cant you guys fight like normal girls?" he laughed but there was sadness in his eyes

I stood up on my tip toes and kissed him. I closed my eyes and hoped to find the spark that i had always had with Dimitri, but there was nothing. I broke the kiss and smiled " i gotta go ok? 

He smiled "okay" he leaned down and kissed me farewell . I kept my eyes open this time, and i was totally unnerved by the total bliss on his face.

The kiss broke and i waved back at him while running towards my dorm... I promised myself never to let Adrian see me cry again. after all how long am i supposed to live haunted?

I was sitting back in my room, which was where my life practically was lately. I order to avoid people i was always either in my room or at the gym. I saw no reason to put strain on my already fragile will, it would only take a little for a break down in front of the whole school. like i needed that?

i stood up and pushed my thoughts out of my hear and took a single deep breath. what i needed was a nice hot shower. A smile played on my lips, yes a shower sounded great.

i walked into the bathroom and started the shower, wrapped myself up in a towel to wait till the water had heated up. i had vagely heard a knock at the door.. " who in their right mind would come to MY room now?" i grumbled to myself.

"can i help you?" i asked before seeing who it was.

"Rose" the russian accent was obvious and it struck a needle-like pain to my heart. I felt my face harden and smooth over. No more crying.

"what to i owe the surprise, Belikov?"

He stiffened a little, that probably had more to do with the fact that i had only a towel on rather than my use of his last name.

"The princess is worried about you, she said you haven't been out of your room in a week" huh? had it really been that long? time flys when your miserable.

"and you're standing in my doorway,why?"

"because she sent me to check up on you" he stated simply

This whold conversation i had been avoiding looking directly at his face, but his last comment made my eyes shoot to his face. I glared at him and i swore i saw him flinch.

"well as you can plainly see, I'm fine and about to take a shower. Frankly i don't exactly want to be standing here in only a towel where everyone can see. so either you go tel the princess" i spat the word. i couldn't help but be a little pissed at her " that i'm fine or come in and doubly make sure i am, me myself? i would like you to do the first. It's up to you" i said icily

I walked away fromt eh wide open door and started gathering my clothes on the off chance he didn't get my hint. I heard the door shut and i looked up and saw Dimitri making his way to my bed.

" there is a chair over there" i said pointing towards a chair in the corner that nobody used. I reminded myself, that there was no more crying.

He simply nodded. I walked into the bathroom with my stuff, got into the now steaming shower... so much for a great shower.

**Okay thank you for reading, and i do hope that all of you review because your reviews give me reason to keep writing. and some of them even give me inspiration :) all i ask is that you push the little greenish button at the bottom of this page and send me a review. love you all 3 **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey to all my fans :) i will be updating once a week and that will either be on fridays or saturdays cause unfortunatly being a senior comes with ALOT of school work :( but that is the schedule. Also i would love for more people to review,i thank the ones that have reviewed cause you guys make my day. however, if hardly anyone reviews there is no inspiration to write. once again thank you for those who have reviewed but please i ask more of you to review. I will also be adding several songs into this story so I hope ya'll enjoy because I know I will enjoy writing it :) **

**Naturallyclutzy93**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys :) im still not totally happy with the amount of reviews that i have been getting, but i dont think it would be right to punish the ones that actually read this, so i will ask again for more reviews. okay here is chapter 3 :P**

**XXX**

**Haunted**

**Chapter 3 **

**Rose/Dimitri**

After what seemed like hours, I finally got out of the shower. Unfortunatly i felt the need to go straight back in when i saw that the clock on my wall said i had only been in there for half an hour. I groaned. That wasn't anywhere near the relaxation time i needed, considering i had a very persistant EX love of my life in my room. I think i would need SEVERAL straight days of hot showers for that one. i sighed, shook my head and started getting dressed. I debated wheither to i should look my best or my normal, i didn't know which one would get him to leave faster.

I eventually decided to go as my normal, which wasn't bad but it sure as hell wasn't my best. "you're still here? I'd figured you'd have left by now" i said when i saw him sitting awkwardly on the chair i had pointed out to him.

"i came here because the princess wanted to know you were okay, and that's what i'm finding out" he said quietly

"Ah, yes the princess, almost forgot" i smiled "how is the princess?" i asked rumaging through the dresser next to my bed.

"nice try Rose, she is fine, but yet again i will say this, i was sent here to make sure you were okay" he said with a little edge in his voice

I laughed, yes it was fake but he didnt have to know that " does it look like I'm suffering Belikov?" yes i am. Part of me wanted him to see that but another just wanted him to leave so he would stop haunting my dreams, thoughts, my everything.

He cleared his throat " no it doesn't but you're a good actress, good not great"

I glared " listen Belikov" i spat his name " i am fine, and i don't need the likes of you" i looked him up and down with distaste " checking up on me. you can tell the princess i said so when you send her my best wishes" i headed toward the door, opened it and waited for him to get the hint and leave.

He walked up to the door, snatched the handle away from me, and shut the door. " stop pretending! you may fool everyone else but you don't fool me. Not one bit and that's without knowing about your little incident at the track" he growled

"wow Belikov! I'm proud of you, you've officially upgraded to stalker! congrats" i said sarcastically

"FUNNY! not. Adrian came to the princess about it, saying that she should make up with you because it was affecting your life too much" huh i didn't think he actually believed me... " I take it you didn't tell him about your psycho tirade in the food court"

"hardly" i scoffed "didn't have to. apparently it was a hot topic here 'former strigoi and current guardian arguing in the cafeteria' yep definatly trumps the latest pregnant teen" i shot at him. i felt instant guilt when i saw the look on his face, but i still persisted. it was the only way to get him to leave.

"low blow Rose, but you still haven't gotten your wish, I'm still here, and unfortunatly the other part of the princess's wish was to do whatever was in my power to help you"

"sucks for you comrade" i said using my former nickname for him. It got the reaction i had wanted, he flinched " fortunatly there is only one thing in your 'power' you can do to help me and that is LEAVE" i stressed the last word hoping he would get the hint already that i didn't want him in my room.

"whatever, i tried, at least i can tell her that" he all but snarled at him

"yes, run along and tell Princess Vasilisa that you tried to help poor pathetic Rose, like a good servant" i said partonizingly

"you will never change Rose" he walked out the door and turned around probably about to tell me off but i beat him to it.

I smiled " No and neither will you Belikov" and i slammed the door in his face.

I should've felt great after all that, but all i wanted was to have him back here arguing with me, because even if he was yelling at me, he was with me, instead of an eternity away. I felt as if we had just taken a dozen steps back instead of forwad. The stabbing pain wouldn't go away and i couldn't help but bring out the old letter he had sent to me when he was a strigoi. " at least when he was a strigoi he wanted me" wait what? what was i thinking? he was better as a dhampir, i wanted him as a dhampir right? why else would i have risked Lissa's life by doing what i did. To save the man i loved, that's why. I sighed and turned on the radio. I needed something to distract me.

"now here is Lady Antebellum with 'Need you now' " the radio DJ said.

This is not what i meant. i groaned and moved to turn it off when the first words came on

_"Picture perfect memories_

_scattered all around the floor"_

GAH! i looked down at the letter. it wasn't picture perfect but still, little too close to home for me.

_"reaching for the phone _

_cause i can't fight it anymore"_

I resisted the urge to throw the radio at the wall

_"and i wonder if i ever cross your mind_

_for me it happens all the time"_

GRRR! what was it with the music lately? it was like it was all out to get me! but it did make me think, he was on my mind an awful lot. i shook my head. i couldn't think about that right now.

_"It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone_

_and i need you now _

_Said i wouldn't call but i lost all control_

_and i need you now_

_and i don't know how i can do without _

_i just need you now"_

I grabbed my head, i couldn't do this again, not after last time. Though on the upside, if there was an upside, at least i was in my room this time

_"another shot of whiskey_

_can't stop looking at the door_

_wishing you'd come sweeping in _

_the way you did before"_

I looked at the empty whiskey bottle that was carelessly hid in the trash.. then at the door, how did he not notice the bottle? maybe he did but didn't want to mention it. what was wrong with me? i use to drink but never because of this reason.

_"and i wonder if i ever cross your mind"_

Do i Dimitri?

_"for me it happens all the time_

_It's a quarter after one i'm a little drunk_

_and i need you now said i wouldn't call but i lost all control _

_and i need you now_

_and i don't know how i can do without_

_I just need you now"_

I wish i was drunk. No i take that back, i don't. Then all this would be painful, more so even.

_"yes i'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all"_

I didn't know about that.. right about then nothing would have been good.

_"It's a quarter after one i'm all alone_

_and i need you now_

_and i said i wouldn't call but i'm a little drunk_

_and i need you now_

_and i don't know how i can do without_

_i just need you now_

_i just need you now"_

"so dont need this!" my brain was screaming but my heart was already making its case in my head. My heart wanted the phone... badly. so what did i do?

My body was on auto pilot, my feet moved on their own across the room. My hand picked up the phone and i dialed the number i had tried so hard to forget.

I stood there unable to do anything else as it rang

"Belikov here"

I stopped breathing

**XXX**

**Hoped you liked it:) now as i said before, i ask you to review because inspiration comes from the fans, or everyday life, i personally like the fans though :P **


	5. Chapter 5

**I LOVED the amount of reviews that I got for the last chapter :) but let's keep up on the reviews okay? Because even I need a little ego boast ;) lol so here is Chapter 4, I hope you like it. I am really excited about this chapter. Also there are some BIG surprises with this chapter so be warned :). WARNING part of the reason that this story is rated M is in this chapter... PEACE!**

**XXX**

**Haunted**

**Chapter 4**

**Rose/Dimitri**

"Belikov here"

My breathing had stopped and I wanted to hang up the phone sooo bad, but my body was rejecting all logical decisions. 'Damn it hang up Rose' I thought, but I still couldn't tear the phone from my ear.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" he sounded annoyed

'HANG UP!' I screamed at myself

"I don't know who this is, but I don't have time for this, so either hang up or speak" he demanded

"Dimitri..." his name slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it.

"Rose... is that you?" my eyes went wide when he said my name... my heart cried a little and I was finally able to slam the phone down. With tears flowing down my face, I reached for the full bottle of whiskey under my bed and without a thought about how reckless my decision was I swallowed a huge gulp of it. It burned my throat going down but it didn't matter, I just drank more and more until the bottle was all but gone. I felt kind of floaty and detached... good, being detached is good. I couldn't feel the pain that would surely have been there, and I secretly wished that it could always be that way. No pain, No crying, NO DIMITRI.

More tears cascaded down my face and I was glad I couldn't feel the reason they were there. There was a knock at the door and I attempted to get up from my bed to answer it but when I stoop up my head got dizzy and I fell back down on my bed.

"Rose are you okay?" Dimitri! My head was screaming at me but my heart was beating out of my chest with joy. He came for me! He came back! I tried to get up once again and I succeeded on standing and walking wobbly to the door, but apparently I wasn't fast enough because next thing I knew the door was busted open and I fell to my knees in the middle of my room with my only love running towards me, yelling like crazy

"ROSE! What's wrong?" he leaned down to help me up.

"Hey comrade" I slurred

"Are you drunk?" he asked. His face had worry and anger warring with each other

I giggled "may just a little" I held my arms as wide as they went to show how much I had drunk. He shook his head and walked me back over to my bed then went back to the door. For a moment my heart clenched because I thought he was going to leave, but all he did was shut the door and turn around to look at me with those same two emotions warring with each other. Then he looked on the floor and it was obvious which emotion had won out.

"Did you drink this whole bottle?" he asked anger laced his words.

"Um, maybe..." I said evasively, I didn't like the look on his face; it kind of scared me... just a little.

"Why did you drink this?" he screamed at me then threw the bottle against the wall where it shattered.

I flinched "well I was upset and-"

"Has hanging out with Adrian influenced you this much?" he continued screaming at me like he didn't even hear me.

"NO" I protested "Adrian's been good, he hasn't even drank since I started dating him, this was all me" I tried to stand up to make my point more known but Dimitri just sat me back down.

"Why?" he asked softly

I couldn't take it anymore and the words I had been wanted to say for forever tumbled from my lips " because I couldn't handle the pain anymore, you were on my mind and this retarded song about calling someone when they were drunk came on, of course I hadn't started drinking but my feet still lead me to the phone and I dialed your number and I couldn't stop myself, once you said my name I hung up and then I remembered the whiskey under my bed. I started drinking and drinking and I didn't stop until the whole bottle was gone" by this point I was crying" and all I could think was that I was glad I was drunk because I couldn't feel the pain over you then and I couldn't cry, all I could do is lay there and think nothing, and feel nothing. IT'S ALL I WANT!" I was screaming by the end. I looked up at him in time to see an emotion flicker across his face before his ever famous guardian mask covered it.

"I think I should go get the princess, maybe she could help-"

"NO" I practically screamed "I mean... come on Comrade, stay, just for old time's sake" I joked. It was painful to act like I was fine with him being so close but he wasn't mine to touch, to laugh with.

His face hardened "I think I should go"

At a last resort I did what I swore I would never do "please" I whispered "please stay" my eyes filled with more tears

He looked so conflicted I almost took back my plea but eventually he nodded "we have to get you in bed" I was in mid nod when I threw up all over the floor and his shoes. He looked down disgusted

"That was... Gross, can you stand up enough to go clean yourself up? You know take a shower and that kind of stuff?" he asked while slipping off his soiled shoes. I debated saying no but I changed my mind, I had put him through enough.

I stood up and made it all the way to the bathroom door before I lost my footing and about bashed my head into the wall. Dimitri rushed over to me and picked me up bridal style.

"Maybe I SHOULD go get the princess; I can't have you killing yourself in the shower"

"No please don't go get anyone, I don't want anyone to find out about this" if Lissa found out she would be pissed because I got drunk and if Adrian found out he'd get pissed because I got drunk AND didn't call him.

"But you need a shower" he protested

"Please don't" I begged

He huffed "fine" he walked me to the bathroom. When we got into the bathroom he shuffled me to one arm so he could start the shower. He set me down on my feet and looked at me straight in the eye, I looked back but he was fuzzy which was kind of hilarious but I restrained myself from laughing.

"Are you sure you don't want me to get anyone else?" he asked. It seemed like there was a double meaning there but my mind couldn't wrap around it.

"Yes I don't want anyone else" I said quietly. I knew he had to undress me to get me in the shower, but I was still shocked when he started taking my shirt off.

"What are you doing?" I asked accusingly

"I have to undress you for a shower Rose" he said patiently. His voice sounded so far away.

"Oh okay" I said after awhile

"You still sure you don't want anyone else?"

"Yes I'm sure"

"Okay" he said as he started peeling my pants off me. I stood there shivering

"Can you get the rest?" he asked calmly

"Um yeah I think so" I said as I pulled my underwear off and started on my bra, but the damn thing wouldn't come off.

"I think I need help with this"

"Uh okay" he said before his hands quickly removed it. He picked me up gently and placed me in the steamy shower and started washing my hair. As he was rinsing it I got lost in the feel of his hands in my hair and I about toppled over, if it wasn't for Dimitri's swift hands I would've

"Whoa there, no falling allowed" he tried to joke. Probably to keep me awake. I just mumbled thanks. I was falling asleep fast and my body wouldn't hold up anymore and I began to sit down in the tub.

"Okay okay time to get out" he stated as he was turning off the water. He went to pick me up out of the shower but then he stopped and took off his shirt instead.

"What the hell?" even in my whiskey induced haze I was still turned on my Dimitri and his sexy abs, his sexy everything actually. And that did not bode well for Adrian.

"Well I don't want to get my shirt wet" he stated plainly

"Whatever" I mumbled

He chuckled. Actually CHUCKLED. All I could think was WTF?

"Never change Rose, you will never change" he said with a weird smirk on his face

"Nope" I smiled a gigantic smile, or what I hoped was one

He picked me up and stood me up on the floor while he got a towel and wrapped it around me.

"I'll be right back, I have to get you some clothes" I simply nodded then sat down on the tile floor. Dimitri had just given me a shower... I wasn't exactly sure I knew what to think about that. All I knew was that Adrian was SO not finding out about this.

Dimitri walked back in "why are you on the floor?" he voice was so far away I barely heard him

"I got tired" I mumbled

"Ah gotcha. Well here" he stood me back up then started dressing me

"Dimitri" I could barely get his name out my mouth

"Hm?" he was busy trying to get my pants on me

"Thank you" I whispered. He stopped what he was doing and looked at me, naked and trying to stay awake

"It's no problem. You would've killed yourself if I hadn't"

I wanted to ask him if that was the only reason he did it but the moment was so sweet and pure despite me being naked and drunk. So I just nodded and did my best to help him dress me. Afterwards he picked me up yet again and carried me to my bed and laid me down then covered me up tightly. He started to move away but I grabbed his hand and he looked back at me

"Thanks again Comrade, you really are my knight in shining armor" I could tell he wanted to say something but I had drifted to sweet drunken sleep before he could.

**XXX**

**Okay there you go Chapter four, now that you've read you can REVIEW :) by the way, you guys might like this Dimitri but I wouldn't get too comfortable with him this way I have a feeling it isn't going to stay ;) there's your hint for next chapter lol don't worry I'm a total Rose/Dimitri fan.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! Well guess what? I loved all the review I got but since Im a review junkie I need more this time... Im thinking at least 10! I know it's a lot but I believe you guys can do it :) well make me proud. Here is chapter 5, hope you love it **

**XXX**

**Haunted**

**Chapter 5**

**Rose/Dimitri**

I woke up with a sense of security…. And a headache. One of which I hadn't had since before Dimitri turned strigoi. He loved me! He just had to, to do what he did for me. I couldn't fathom why I didn't see this before; of course he was hiding his true feeling because he wanted me to be happy! I rolled over to tell him that I would always be his but in his place was a very tired looking Lissa. I wasn't in the mood to deal with her yelling at me, so I pretended I was still asleep.

"I know you're awake Rose" she said so quietly that if it wasn't for my dhampir hearing I wouldn't have heard her.

I sighed "what are you doing here? Where is Dimitri?"

She gave me the death glare from hell "he came to my room, I guess sometime after you had passed out. He told me how you begged him to stay and not to tell me or Adrian. Rose! Why didn't you call me? I could've helped you" she had unshed tears in her eyes. Normally I would've felt guilty, but today it just ticked me off.

"Why does it always have to be about YOU!" she flinched "did you for once think 'sure Dimitri maybe just maybe my best friend feels worse'? Honestly! You're supposed to be my best friend, my sister almost, but you act like you don't even care!" I fumed

Those tears that had been in her eyes were now flowing down her face "I DO care Rose! He needs me! More than you do. What am I supposed to do? Let him be humiliated and cast away from people who used to respect him? Rose that's wrong and you know it!"

I refused to feel guilty about how I felt. I was told my whole life that my feelings didn't matter only THEY did; for once I wanted to be selfish, to mourn, to cry, and to be angry. "You won't turn this on me!" I yelled at her

Her face calmed and her blue eyes held sympathy and understanding "Rose… he doesn't love you anymore, he wasn't lying when he said that. He only stayed with you because you were being stubborn and he didn't want you to hurt yourself. Think about it… why would he have gotten me if he loved you? He would've stayed and been here if you woke up if he did"

I shook my head "what do you know? You haven't the slightest idea of what we feel for each other! We've loved each other from the beginning!" I refused to believe her. He had to love me. He just had to! I ran out my door, I needed to find him; I just needed to know Lissa was wrong. Just before my door slammed shut I heard Lissa whisper "oh Rose…"

XXX

I had searched up and down the school and I had yet to find him. Where could have been? Lisa's words still racked through my brain "he doesn't love you anymore" It just had to be a lie! The way his hands were so gentle when he helped me shower, the way he laughed, he was the old Dimitri, the one that loved me. I suddenly ran smack dab into what felt like a brick wall. Well it wasn't a brick wall because brick walls don't move. So I mumbled an "Im sorry" and tried to sidestep the guy.

"Rose?"

Oh I would've known that anywhere. It was Dimitri. I could feel my body go off like a live wire

"Hey comrade!" I smiled brightly

His face was relaxed and everything felt so right "I'd thought you'd be in bed till at least noon"

"Nope! Im a rebel" I joked and winked at him.

He stopped smiling at me "Rose what you did was irresponsible. You should be working to protect the princess not getting drunk" he said sternly

I was almost lost for words, almost "hold on ONE minute buddy, you know exactly why I did that, and—"

"The reason you did it has no meaning, you still did it, and that puts the princess in risk and that I can't allow"

I stepped back in shock "I thought you had changed your mind" I said quietly

He looked confused "why would I change my mind about protecting the princess?"

"I meant us" my voice was barely above a whisper

His features went straight to the guardian mask I had lately come to know as his face "Rose… I will never change my mind about us, what I said was the truth whether or not you believe it. Do yourself and me a favor, go back to Ivashkov" he said coldly

Tears began forming in my eyes "you're right"

He looked at me in shock "I am?"

I fought back the tears that threatened to fall down my face "yes I should do you a favor and leave you along"

His face softened for a minute "Rose—"

I snapped "don't call me Rose, that's reserved for my friends and family, you are neither" it sounded cold an icy. I sounded heartless.

He stiffened but kept his cool "okay what do you wish me to call you?"

That was a perfectly innocent question especially after I told him he couldn't call me rose, but I didn't think he'd give in so easily.

I didn't let my emotions show when I looked him in the eye. I had finally perfected the much needed guardian mask "Guardian Hathaway is the only name you are to address me as"

He looked as though he wanted to take back what he said. I refused to see the guilt he had for finally breaking me. All too soon his mask was back "Guardian Hathaway it is then "

I simply nodded and turned and walked away. Then and only then did I let the tears fall, it was over, all over and there was no getting it back.

I pulled out my MP3 and pushed play

"_Long were the night_

_When my days once revolved_

_Around you"_

STUPID STUPID MUSIC! I looked down at the screen to see yet another song I didn't need to hear "dear john" by Taylor swift wasn't a song that I could deal with right now

"_Counting my footsteps_

_Praying the floor won't fall through_

_Again"_

DAMN IT! All these fucking songs were out to get me

"_Well my mother accused me_

_Of losing my mind_

_But I swore_

_I was fine"_

Sounded WAY too familiar for my tastes but my fingers refused to change the song.

"_You paint me a blue sky_

_Then go back and turn it_

_To rain_

_And I lived in your chess game_

_But you changed the rules_

_Everyday"_

Dimitri was always changing the rules and his mind

"_Wondering which version_

_Of you I might get_

_On the phone_

_Tonight"_

That's a definite. Even my mind was agreeing and it never agreed with anything

"_Well I stopped picking up_

_And this song is to let you know why"_

Dimitri already knew. HELL, it's what he wanted

"_Dear john_

_I see it all now that you're gone_

_Don't you think I was too young_

_To be messed with_

_The girl in the dress cried the_

_Whole way home_

_I should've known"_

A definite should've known. I should've never let it go this far.

"_Well maybe it's me_

_And my blind optimism to blame_

_Maybe it's you and your_

_Sick need to give love and_

_Take it away"_

Definitely one or the other… both maybe?

"_And you'll add my name_

_To your long list of traitors_

_That doesn't understand"_

I didn't understand either how a person can go from loving a person to acting like they never did.

"_And I'll look back in regret_

_How I ignored when they said_

_Run as fast as_

_You can"_

I wondered to myself… did I regret not running? It's like I never had a choice. I fell for him the minute I saw him.

"_Dear john_

_I see it all now that you're gone_

_Don't you think I was too young to_

_Be messed with_

_The girl in the dressed_

_Cried the whole way_

_Home_

_Dear John_

_I see it all now it was wrong_

_Don't you think nineteen's too young_

_To be played by your dark twisted games_

_When I loved you so_

_I should've known"_

I almost wished I could cry but tears were already flowing down my face at record speed.

"_You are an expert at sorry_

_And keeping lines blurry_

_Never impressed by me acing your tests_

_All the girls that you've run dry_

_Have tired lifeless eyes_

_Cause you burned them out_

_But I took your matches_

_Before fired your matches_

_Before fire could catch me_

_So don't look now_

_Im shining like fireworks_

_Over your sad empty_

_Town"_

I wish I was. I wish none of this would've happened. Leave it to me to fall for a guy who was unavailable and couldn't make up his mind

"_Dear john_

_I see it all now that you're gone_

_Don't you think I was too young to be messed with _

_The girl in the dress_

_Cried the whole way home_

_I see it all now that you're gone_

_Don't you think I was too young_

_To be messed with_

_The girl in the dress wrote you _

_A song_

_You should've known _

_You should've known"_

I should've known….

"_Don't you think_

_I was too young"_

He did think I was too young, but still went and grabbed my heart then broke it

"_You should've known"_

The song ended and I was back at my room where I was sure Lissa was waiting. I didn't think I could face her pity, her knowing this would happen. Of course she would understand she would stand there and comfort me and help me get through this. She would act as though I hadn't made a fool of myself chasing after a guy that no longer loved me. As though she hadn't told me he didn't

I opened the door to just what I expected, Lissa sitting on my bed waiting for me to get back. When she saw me enter she jumped off my bed "Rose…."

That's when the tears came back full force.

She ran over to me "Rose it's going to be okay"

She led me to my bed and just laid there with me stroking my hair until I fell into a tear filled sleep.

**XXX**

**Okay there ya go :) man even writing this chapter was hard because Im a total Rose/Dimitri fan :( oh well it will get better….. I hope. Loll anyways what I said earlier still applies. I won't update until I have at least 10 reviews. I know you guys can do it. Okay love ya... PEACE **


	7. Chapter 7

**I know I haven't updated in what… a year? Sorry : ( I didn't mean to be away for so long. I have nothing to say but that I fell in love. But now I have a new view of how I want this story to go. I have a feeling that this story is going to be better because of my absence. Here is the long awaited chapter. I apologize again.**

Haunted

Rose/Dimitri

Chapter 6

Laying there in my depressed slumber should have been comforting; I mean I was shut off from the world. But the nightmare never seemed to end. I knew Lissa would be somewhere in my room waiting for me to wake up, waiting to comfort me. I really didn't deserve her. MY mind was awake but my body didn't want to move, and I couldn't decide if that was what I wanted or not. I could hear Lissa shuffling around my messy room, probably attempting to clean up. I almost wanted to wake up just to stop her… almost.

As if I was recovering from a bout of amnesia, I remembered my promise not to cry over Dimitri anymore, Adrian deserved more. Obviously there was nothing there for Dimitri anymore; it was time for me to move on as well. Well as best as I could. It was senseless for me to put Adrian and Lissa through this, they at least deserved for me to move on. Dimitri. My brain ached at the thought of his name. Dimitri deserved this too.

I forced myself out of my self-induced coma and looked around. Sure enough, Lissa was picking up my room. I sat up and cleared my throat. She jumped, obviously startled.

"Oh! You're awake." She gave me a concerned look. "You alright?"

'I can do this' I told myself. Here was where I needed my acting skills.

"I'm fine, not great, but in time I will be" Thank god for the guardian mask.

"Rose… Don't put on a brave face for me-" I held up my hand to stop her.

"It is for you that I need a brave face, it's time for me to start acting like a guardian instead of a teenage girl" I stated firmly "now stop picking up my room. I'm going to go clean up and then we'll go get you some food, then if you would like, I will escort you to see Guardian Belikov" I hoped she didn't see me flinch when I said his name.

"Rose, you don't have to do that" she looked worried. I had to assure her that I would be fine, even if I wouldn't be.

I shook my head "It is my duty, I will do it"

I tried my best to keep my face blank as I walked to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror to see a stranger that looked like me except she had red, puffy eyes and a pale face. In her eyes you could see she was broken. In shock, I realized that it was me I was seeing.

I had to make myself look normal, for Lissa's sake if not for my own. I washed my face with cold water, hoping o take the red away from my eyes. The face… hmm nothing I could really do there except try to bring some of my natural color back. I applied some base on my face to try to help the process. It did little, but I had to admit it was better than nothing.

I looked in the mirror once again, praying I had accomplished a little of what I wanted. The girl in the glass wasn't one I recognized, but she would do. I quickly changed into some guardian clothes that were lying on the bathroom floor and walked out.

I looked at Lissa, who was laying on my untidy bed, inspecting the ceiling "Ready?" I asked. She turned her head to me and nodded. I could see the look in her eyes; she was debating if I was ready for this. But Rose Hathaway doesn't hide…. At least not anymore. I walked to my closet to grab my gear, and then I held the front door open for her as she walked out. I proceeded to walk behind her, determined to be the perfect guardian for one in my life.

H~H~H

We glided into the cafeteria, and as expected everyone went silent upon our entrance. Everyone was waiting for the now famous Rose Hathaway breakdown. Well they were going to continue to wait. I kept my eyes focused on Lissa and any danger that could show up. It's been known to happen, even in the Academy. I could feel several pairs of eyes on me but I paid no more attention to them than necessary.

When we neared the feeding room, I stopped outside "I'll be here waiting for you" I informed her. Her gaze flickered to my face with the look of worry that seemed to always be in her eyes when she looked at me now. She nodded and walked into the room, while I stood outside the door like the good little guardian I was trying to be. 'No more slip ups' I told myself. I took a glance around the room, grateful when I didn't see my tormentor. I was hungry, but I would wait to grab something to eat until after shift change. Curiously I wondered who would that shift change was with. It felt like ages before Lissa came back out, but I didn't show my impatience.

I lifted my chin and turned to Lissa "where to now?" She looked cautious, obviously trying to find a way to entertain me during my time. I shook my head trying to get her to see that from now on I was only another guardian while I was on duty.

"No Lissa, where do you WANT to go?"

"Well…" She said slowly "I have a regular visit with D-" she looked at me, worried that her slip up had caused me pain. Seeing nothing in my face to agree with her theory, she continued "Someone, if you don't wish to take me, I could go by myself" I shook my head at the absurd option "okay… Well Eddie could replace you for the time that I'm there" she offered instead.

"Eddie?" I questioned "is he you other guardian?" she nodded

"Only temporarily, until Belikov is ready to replace him" She used his surname to try to ease the hurt she thought was going to be there. I covered it quickly before she had a chance.

"No Lissa. I can take you. Don't worry about me, I'm here to take care of you, not for you to take care of me" I smiled at her and she laughed.

We had been standing outside the feeding room, blocking other Moroi's from entering. I gestured Lissa to go in front of me, as we walked to my now silent torture.

H~H~H

"Hello Dimitri" Lissa's musical voice seemed to tinkle over everything. Dimitri looked up and beamed at her, his face glowing with happiness and adoration. I felt another slice to my already shredded heart, but I hid it well 'Do your duty" I scolded myself. My guardian mask was firmly in place and it wasn't going to falter. Dimitri finally realized there was another person in the room, one wearing black. That one being me. His eyes held shock. In my mind several nasty retorts popped up but I pushed them back along with the declarations of love.

"Ro- Guardian Hathaway" He bowed his head for a fraction of a second, showing respect. I tried to look through as I returned the gesture.

"Lissa, you've never had a guardian join us, what changed?" He asked carefully

She mentally rolled her eyes at me "Rose is determined to be the perfect guardian, I told her she didn't have to join me but she insisted that it was her job to do so"

He looked me over. As he did so a familiar sense of déjà vu accompanied it. "Guardian Hathaway" He addressed me. I turned automatically to him "your presence isn't needed, you may leave if you wish" he said gently. I simply nodded and turned back to Lissa.

"I'll just be outside the door, let me know when you're ready to leave" She nodded and I moved to take my place outside the room with my emotions clearly in check.

I checked the hall for any presence besides my own. After finding none, I slid down the wall until I was seated on the floor. I bent my head and let my long hair slide down to cover my entire face as I finally let my emotions out. Tears pricked at my eyes but I firmly held them from spilling over. If they didn't fall, I wasn't really crying right?

I pulled out my phone to see several texts from Adrian

_'Babe, you okay?' ~Adrian_

They all basically said the same thing, so I only bothered to answer the one.

_'I'm fine, just on duty. I'll see you when I'm off XOXO' ~Rose_

I shut the tiny silver phone and stuffed it in my pocket and just sat on the dorm floor waiting for the ex love of my life and my best friend to end their visit.

H~H~H

It felt like several hours had passed when I was finally called into the tiny room; in fact it was only one.

"Ready?" I asked when I entered.

Lissa nodded and I turned my body to let her through.

"Rose-" My eyes snapped up to Dimitri's. I could feel them turn from dead to icy.

"It's Guardian Hathaway, Belikov" I snapped. He looked like he was going to fight but he simply nodded.

"See ya later Lissa" He spoke around me. He turned his glance on me "Hathaway" I turned and followed Lissa out the door, shutting it behind me.

**Alright there ya go. I hope it was enough. I'm not exactly sure if it makes up for my prolonged absence but that absence helped me write this chapter so it can't be all that bad. Ya'll know the drill. Read and Review. Don't be afraid to give me CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. **


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm so glad about the turn out of the reviews that I got. It makes me proud that my fans would return even though I had been gone so long. I understand that my absence isn't all together forgiven but I promise I'll do my best to update frequently. Here is the next chapter. Don't exactly know how good it is, my friend says it's pretty good, but in the end that is for ya'll to decide. Enjoy.**

Haunted

Rose/Dimitri

Chapter 7

Walking from Dimitri's room was a silent affair. The old Rose would've broken the silence with some random babble, but the new Rose knew her place and stood at an appropriate distance from the Princess. I could tell something was wrong with Lissa but I didn't ask. Right now I was a guardian, not a best friend. I could ask her later, when shift was changed. She looked at me with her green Dragmire eyes; in them I could see the ever present look of worry. This angered me, I wasn't doing my job right, and she was stressed. What was I doing wrong?

"What's wrong Liss?" I asked. My voice was flat. Good. No emotion is good. I was worried about her though, she shouldn't be so weighed down by all the crap from other people's emotions. She looked down, hiding her naturally pale face from my scrutiny

"Nothing, just tired is all" not unlikely considering she had stayed up all night with me… still, why was there this nagging doubt that she was lying? Maybe it was the sense of guilt coming from the bond. I ignored the emotion that was pouring from the bond. Guardian now, friend later.

"Should I walk you to your room, or would you like to do something else?" I prayed for the first. Mostly because I didn't want to break down in front of her again. It had been building up since leaving Dimitri's room; I could feel the already fragile walls starting to crack. I knew that I could push it back until after my shift but I didn't want to risk the breakdown.

"I think that you need a break, Rose. Call up Eddie and switch shifts. I'm going to go to my room, so you can wait to switch until then." Ah Lissa, always looking out for me even when I didn't deserve it.

"Alright Liss. Off to bed for the Princess" I tried to joke. She cracked a smile and continued walking towards her dorm. I pulled out my phone and shot Eddie a text.

_'Hey, shift change buddy : )' ~ Rose_

Pretend to be happy. That's what my job was now. No sooner did I put my phone in my pocket , than I got a text.

_ 'Where?' ~ Eddie_

I told him we were at Lissa's dorm and put my phone away. She walked into her dorm waiting for me to follow, I just shook my head.

"I'll wait for Eddie out her kay?" I gave her a reassuring smile. She needed to relax.

She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. I watched her shut the door, praying that for once she'd stop worrying about everyone but herself. I don't recall how long I sat outside her room waiting for Eddie to show up, but when he did, I walked into her room and gave her a hug

"Eddie's here so I'm going to go eat, maybe train a bit, then hit the sack, I am pretty tired" I yawned for emphasis then winked at her.

"Alright" She hugged me back and I left the room hoping she would get some sleep, She needed it.

H~H~H

I walked into the gym, duffle bag in hand. As I stretched, I saw an ancient radio sitting in the corner of the room. I smiled 'Jackpot' I thought. I tuned it to my favorite station; it came out with a lot of static but suddenly switched to perfect reception.

_'Alright guys! Thank you for joining us at WKYB93, where we have your newest hits and your old favorites. Here's a song ya'll should all know. Stand still, Look pretty by The Wreckers. _Ah… Not again. I can take it 'Channel the emotions Rose' I yelled at myself. This was going to be fun…. Not.

_I want to paint my face_

_And pretend that I am _

_Someone else._

"No shit" I whispered as I started my crunches.

_Sometimes I get so fed up_

_I don't even want to look at_

_Myself._

Sometimes? How about all the time?

_But people have problems that_

_Are worse than mine_

_I don't want you to think _

_I'm complaining all the time_

_And I hate the way you look_

_At me I have to say_

_I wish I could start over_

Starting over? Yeah that'd be great. I would never had fallen in love with Dimitri, if I could start over. Never knowing what it was like to be held by him, well I could live with that. I wish I never knew what I was missing.

_I am slowly falling apart_

_I wish you'd take a walk_

_In my shoes for a start_

Dimitri? Yeah right! He was perfectly fine in his own badass shoes. Besides the only person he seemed to care about anymore was Lissa. Can you say FML?

_And you might think it's _

_Easy being me_

_You just stand still_

_Look pretty_

HA! Did he even consider me pretty anymore? Or was he in "Love" with Lissa now? I know it was vain but still, it bothered me that he might not consider me good looking now that he didn't love me.

_Sometimes I find myself_

_Shaking in the middle of the night_

_And then it hits me and_

_I can't even believe this is my life_

You know I MIGHT stop listening to music if this continues… how many songs can there be that reflect my life? Well if I don't know, with my luck lately I would find out.

_But people have problems_

_That are worse than mine_

_I don't want you to think_

_I'm complaining all the time_

Heaven forbid Rose ever go against something someone else wanted. No, I just had to solve other people's problems, never mine.

_And I wish that everyone_

_Would go and shut their mouth_

_I'm not strong enough to deal with it._

I AM strong enough….. I think. More like I hope.

_I am slowly falling apart_

_I wish you'd take a walk _

_In my shoes for a start_

_And you might think _

_It's easy being me _

_You just stand still _

_Look pretty_

_I am slowly falling apart _

_I wish you'd take a walk _

_In my shoes for a start_

_And you might think its easy being me_

_You just stand still_

_Look pretty_

I didn't even realize when I stopped working out in the middle of the song, but as the song ended I realized my body was faced towards the radio. I felt like I should have been crying, my heart felt shattered, but there were no tears on my face. None.

'Maybe I'm finally out of tears' I thought grimly

I pushed myself off the glossy gym floor. I sighed. I needed to get HIM off my mind. I had Adrian. Adrian who was so much better for me than Dimitri, I mentally shuddered. Adrian who loved me when HE didn't. Adrian that supported me even though he knew my heart belonged to someone else. Poor Adrian, he still kept the hope that I would eventually love him, and maybe someday I would. This wasn't a movie after all, if it was Dimitri would be here right now.

I shook my head as I headed out the gym for a run, my mind, as always, on Dimitri. What was I going to do? It wasn't like I could avoid him, I was Lissa's guardian after all. I suppose I could switch shifts with Eddie, but that seemed weak. I had already showed too much weakness to Dimitri, he had no right to see any more. But in my sick and twisted mine, Dimitri was the center of the world, and everyone just took a backseat to him. That just wasn't right. Lissa and Adrian deserved more and Dimitri deserved less.

My mind was going in circles, Dimitri this and Dimitri that. I wanted to scream! This is NOT how it was suppose to be. It should be Adrian all the time, not the guy who stole my heart and stomped on it with his sexy leather boots. I was seriously fucked up. I hardly got the effect I wanted from my run, I might have been even more stressed than when I started. Damn that stupid sexy Russian that had my heart in his strong hands then took it and destroyed it.

I stopped running and walked over to my bag. I picked it up and headed to my room. I just wanted this day to be over with.

**So what did ya'll think? I really want to know so REVIEW : ) does Dimitri wear leather boots? I dunno it sounds sexy to me, if he doesn't he should ; ) not all my stuff, I also have to give credit to the band that wrote the song, The Wreckers. Also the part about that this wasn't a movie… well that was from another song, one that I'm thinking of putting in one of the chapters. It's called **_**If This Was a Movie **_**by Taylor Swift. So review and tell me what ya think **


	9. Chapter 9

**I know that I've been gone for awhile. I started college and it got busy and then I got married and all I can say about that is that being a military wife is very stressful and busy. So when I wrote this chapter I was listening to Taylor Swift – The way I loved you. I'm very sorry about my absence. This chapter has some adult themes, so you have been warned. **

I walked slowly to my room deep in thought. Trying to avoid HIM wasn't working because my traitorous heart still conspired with my brain to torture me with memories of something I could no longer have. Adrian was everything I needed. He was reliable. He had done so many things for me; he had never hidden his desire for me. But that was it, desire and lust. More than likely I was just a challenge for him, a challenge that took so long to conquer; he fell in love with the chase. But at least he had a form of love for me. His love would never be as soul consuming as Dimitri's but it was something. Was it fair of me to exploit his heart just so I would be wanted? I didn't think so. As it was, I couldn't find a way to break it off without crushing him. I'd never love him like I had Dimitri, but I loved him none-the-less.

Sighing inwardly, I looked up, noticing how I had automatically made my way to the hall I stayed in. Nobody was in the corridor so I quietly opened my door, throwing my bag to the side as I walked in. As I shut the door, I started peeling my sweaty clothing off me. Thoughts swam so many circles in my head; I didn't notice the form on my bed until I was pretty much naked. A slight noise made me aware of his presence. I jumped and turned to find Adrian sitting on my bed. I couldn't help but think that my bed had gotten more action in a matter of days than it had in the entire time I'd had it. Grabbing my robe off the floor, I slipped it on quickly.

"Don't get dressed on my account, in fact I was enjoying your little floor show"He said smiling.

I plastered a smile on my face, trying hard not to remember that Dimitri had been in his place not so long ago.

"Too bad I didn't know you were there, I would've made it exciting" I joked, trying to make the uncomfortable feeling I had go away. He was my boyfriend; surely he was entitled to seeing me naked. If Dimitri was there in his place, I would've made no move to cover up.

His grin widened "you can make it exciting now" he said, his voice husky.

I stiffened; sex with Adrian never crossed my mind. Only being with Dimitri, I was bound to make comparisons between the two. I honestly did NOT need any more comparisons. Still he had waited a long time, taken great care of me, and been there for me through everything. Why shouldn't I? Comparisons were being made even without conscious thought; keeping Adrian waiting wouldn't do anyone any good. Maybe I'd get over Dimitri if I did. The love for Adrian was there, just the spark was missing.

I kept the robe untied, showing my bra and panties as I slowly walked up to him. I lifted my leg and set my foot down right beside him. Leaning down, I kissed my cheek before whispering in his ear. "Can I now?"

He gulped, dragging his eyes from my cleavage to watch my face. Looking at me for a moment, he nodded. I smiled and moved to straddle him, my robe flung behind me and only hanging on my shoulders. I grinded against his groin, feeling him get harder.

"Like this?" I asked innocently

He didn't answer; instead he gripped my jaw and brought my mouth down upon his. He kissed me hungrily, his tongue taking full advantage. I tried desperately to forget that there was no emotion for me in this. His hands made their way up my back to fiddle with my bra clasp. Quickly removing my bra, and robe in the process, his fingers nimbly kneaded my breasts. I moaned automatically, surprising myself. My heart protested, it only wanted Dimitri, but my brain apparently wasn't on the same page. I remembered every detail from the night in the cabin, this was nowhere close. But I hadn't been touched like that in a long time; I could blame the moan on that right?

He moved until I was beneath him. He was kissing my neck, traveling south. Frantic, I noticed his missing shirt, and his shoes were kicked off. Oh no, this was moving faster than I planned. Dimitri was still in my head, I didn't wasn't to sleep with Adrian while thinking of Dimitri. I had counted on more time, but Adrian wasn't wasting any. His kisses had traveled to my navel, nuzzling softly; he kissed me through my underwear. My head was thrown back in anything but pleasure. NO, NO, NO! Not like this! Adrian made his way back up to my lips. I looked down and noticed his lack of pants. I opened my mouth to protest, to make him stop but he devoured my words with his kiss. Something inside me snapped and I struggled against him.

"Adrian, stop" I said around his lips.

He stiffened and sat up, his green eyes flitting between worried and irritated.

"I… Cant" I couldn't come up with anything better than that? Stupid Rose.

He stared at me blankly "You can't?" his voice unbelieving. He was clearly annoyed "Dammit Rose! Why get a guy all hot and bothered if you're not going to do anything about it?"

I bowed my head, he had a point. "I just can't Adrian, you've understood in the past, I need your understanding now" I pleaded with him.

He moved to the edge of the bed and ran a hand through his hair forcefully. "You made the move Rose! You started this. You made me believe that you were ready to put Belikov in the past and move forward with this. I've waited for you, I've been patient. I've dealt with your obsession with him. Hell! I paid for you to save him! How much can you expect a man to take? When am I going to be enough for you?"

He had every right to be upset with me but his words hurt. "What do you want me to do?! Have sex with you when I'm obviously not ready? I can't do that! That would ruin this relationship and you know it" I exclaimed

His face hardened "You're already ruining this relationship" He said, pulling on his pants.

I stared for a moment before answering. "Why? Because I won't sleep with you?" I practically yelled.

He began rummaging for his shirt. Finally finding it, he shrugged it on. He looked directly into my eyes "Wow, I can't believe that's really what you think! How about the fact that you're still psychotically in love with a man who has no feelings for you at all" He said quietly, his voice like ice. He quickly pulled on his shoes and made a bee line for the door.

I jumped out of bed and rapidly pulled on my robe, securing it close. He grasped the door handle "Adrian wait" I said before he threw the door open, exposing somebody with their hand poised to knock. Adrian sneered and his eyes went ice cold.

"Of course" He muttered before stomping off.

I looked after him, pain in my chest. I turned my gaze upon the figure. I stared at him and he stared at me.

"Dimitri" I whispered.

**OK so it wasn't as long as I wanted but I had to end this chapter. I couldn't have TOO much excitement in one chapter. Again I'm sorry it took so long. I would like to get to 41 reviews. I know it's not fair to ask this but I need feedback since it's been so long since I uploaded anything. I can take criticism if it's CONSTRUCTIVE. Thank you to all my fans.**


	10. Chapter 10

**It's funny, I find myself writing differently every time I come back to this story. I do seem to be going in a different direction than I was when I started this story. It's still a Rose/Dimitri fan fic. So no worries! Anywhooo, here is the next chapter. **

Chapter 9

I watched as Adrian walked away, wanting to go after him but unable to move from my door frame. As he disappeared down the hall, my focus turned to Dimitri. I felt my features harden and my gaze turn icy. I looked him over, he was still wearing the clothes from earlier and as I looked him over, a dull ache resounded in my chest. It angered me that he was here, messing up a relationship that was already on the brink of destruction.

"What do you want?" I asked, my tone emotionless.

He stared at me for a second as if he was assessing me. His brown eyes held mine captive, tray as I might to break contact I couldn't.

"I just came by to mention that this hatred between us is hurting the Princess. We should just put our differences aside for her" He said quietly.

I could do nothing but stare at him, my mouth wanted to pop open at his audacity. I held my gaze for the most part, only the tiniest bit of faltering being shown through.

"You think I hate you?!" My voice raised just on the verge of screaming.

His face showed shock, his mouth opened only slightly. I could feel his cool breath on my skin, making it more difficult to be outraged.

"Don't you?"

I looked away from him, my head going down. I noticed in horror that I was still in my robe and not much else. I took a deep breath to steady myself.

"I should hate you, I should curse your name and wish you to the fiery pits of hell. But I don't. I still want you, need you even. I know it's my problem and you've made yourself clear but I can't seem to help it. It's ruining things between me and Adrian but even still I can't seem to let go."

I took a breath, realizing tears had begun to fall down my face without my permission. I shook my head, trying to get my act together.

"I wish that night in the cabin never happened. I wish I didn't know what I was missing" I whispered.

My eyes were focused on the ground so I never saw the expression that crossed his face. I heard him suck in a deep breath and saw his feet shift from one to the other. I almost smiled, I had never seen him this restless.

When he finally spoke, it sounded unsteady.

"I don't. I'm not saying it was my smartest decision or that I feel for you in that manner anymore. I will never regret being with you even though I no longer love you like that"

I felt his fingers briefly touch my face and I really tried not to lean into it and failed miserably. I snapped my head up to meet his eyes at the same time he pulled his hand back.

"Can you see why it's best if we are not friendly? Can't you see that I need to protect my heart? Leave some unbroken so that Adrian has something to put back together. Pretending to be friends would be the final nail in my coffin" I said honestly.

He nodded in understanding. I could see he was warring between feeling sorry for me and consideration for Lissa. I let pity be what I felt for him in the end. I gently placed my hand on his arm, feeling the cracks in my heart widen. I would let him go. I would try.

'Maybe I should ask for a vacation' I thought.

"I'll try Dimitri, I'll try for her" I said, my voice cracking on his name.

He looked relieved as well as guilty. Knowing what he was asking of me couldn't weigh easy on his mind. The look he held made my decision for me. I would take a vacation, be normal for a while. Even though I had only been a true guardian for a few months, my track record more than qualified me for time off. It would kill me to not protect Lissa but for once I should come first. I managed to smile kindly at him, trying to relieve him of this imaginary obligation to look after me.

"Go Dimitri, I'll be fine. Promise." My voice managed to hold steady as I spoke.

He smiled back at me. I hoped he believed my lies. Hoped he would take care of Lissa while I was gone. Hoped he would reassure her it wasn't her fault.

"Alright Hathaway" He said, his voice cautiously happy. He seemed to swallow my half-truths. Seemed to truly believe that I was going to try. I knew that he knew I was lying, Dimitri was always best at seeing through me. He was making himself believe me. I almost laughed outright.

"Just Rose" I said quietly, the false smile still upon my lips.

"Rose" He spoke my name, almost savoring it.

I nodded then eyed my door that had been open for who knows how long. He seemed to get the hint and ducked his head as a goodbye before smiling and walking the same path Adrian had before him.

As soon as he disappeared I closed my door and turned to my messy room. I walked to my closet that held my luggage and began packing the essentials. The last time I left I was searching Dimitri, this time I was trying to get away from him. Irony was a cruel mistress.

I kept my mind busy as I packed, trying not to think about what I was leaving behind. I wouldn't be gone forever, a month at the most. I would hurt everyone. Lissa would blame herself, Dimitri would watch whatever trust he had in me crumble to dust. And Adrian, now that was hard to think about. I knew I would never love him enough. I used him and I felt awful about that but I couldn't make myself feel about him the way he wanted. He would think that I left because he tried to pressure me into sleeping with him when I wasn't ready.

I sighed. If I continued to think about why I should stay, I would never leave. I had grown so much over the last couple years, it was hard to put my own emotional status over my duty to Lissa. It almost felt like I was regressing into myself. None-the-less, I would put in my paperwork for time off to the Queen herself and then walk out of court. I debated on calling Abe, but changed my mind before I thought it all the way through. Finally deciding who to call, I picked up my phone and dialed. It rang twice before a sleepy voice picked up.

"_Hello?"_

I actually cracked a smile "Hey, It's Rose. Can you pick me up at the outside of the court gates tomorrow morning?"

The voice groaned. _"Rose! Not running away again are we?"_

I chuckled "Don't I always?"

A sigh was heard over the line _"Fine but be on time for once okay? Abe is going to give me hell about this"_

"Alright, goodnight" I said with a final laugh before hanging up.

**XXX**

I woke up the next morning, while everyone else was sleeping. I grabbed my bags and placed the letters I'd written on my bed. I walked out of my room and to the administrative office. I smiled at the worker on graveyard shift as I placed my leave paperwork in front of her. She gawked at me as if I had two heads.

"Rosemary Hathaway" She said to herself as she looked at her computer "I don't believe you have any time to take off"

I smiled, almost cat-like at her. "Patch it through to the Queen" I said in smug voice.

She turned beat red "You think I would disturb Her Highness for you?!" I simply nodded at her, still smiling.

She turned back to her computer, grumbling to herself. I waited patiently for a few minutes until I heard the telling sound of a notification. I looked at the shocked expression on her face, my smile growing.

"Your time off has been approved by the high order of Queen Titania" She mumbled as she began stamping my paperwork. She held out my copies and I grabbed them, throwing another smile at her before picking up my bags and walking out of the building and towards the gate. Sydney was waiting for me in her red convertible, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel.

I breathed in the smell of court before exiting the gate and climbing into her car.

She turned to me and looked me over. "You look like hell. Where to?"

I ignored her comment on my appearance and just grinned.

"Anywhere."


End file.
